Harriett Rupp & Thanksgiving in February
In life there are periods, moments that stand out in grace. Although the protective canvas of God’s Spirit is always there, there are also periods of anguish and loneliness. I have shouted out to God, “how is this fair to me, God?”, and I would not deny that there can be intimacy in this. On the other hand, a reflection of the fuller context can be helpful. How soon I forget!
A period of special grace was the time my wife and I moved to Buffalo, NY from Chennai, India, with only about $2,000. From 80 degrees in the winter, sunshine, ocean to 60 degrees in August, slushy and cloudy. From upper middle class living to low-income housing. Married by arrangement for four months, three months pregnant with Jonathan…. crying and throwing up on the plane from JFK to Buffalo. University guest housing agent who was expected to receive us at the airport never received our request for staying arrangements. A stranger who had come to receive someone at the airport seeing our plight with five suitcases and despair took us to his house, cleared a bedroom and housed us for three days. He also connected us with Chitra and Kannan who housed and fed us for several weeks until we found an apartment. Jay and Shakeela arrived on the dot and drove us to the Amherst Baptist Church every Sunday for perhaps another three months with dedication and smile. New York state provided us, foreigners, Medicaid, food stamps and WIC checks as the student medical insurance would not cover the pre-existing pregnancy. Bruce from ISI, a Christian non-profit for international students helped secure and carry a mattress up our stairs. Bruce also walked me through my first garage sale, helping me buy a $0.50 tennis racket and a $2 suit that I wore for a director level job interview years later. Harriett and Ellsworth Rupp of Gowanda, NY, who we met at the ISI gatherings, who lived in a large white picket-fenced house next to their vineyard adopted us as children. In Five years of celebrating every Thanksgiving, Christmas, special occasions, and weddings at their house along with their five children, not once did we feel less loved than their own children. At Harriett’s memorial service at Buffalo last weekend we represented over a thousand international students that Harriett supported over a fifty-year period. Frank and Sue and Colleen and Bob, Joe and Donna who brought us food, provided rides to the hospital, took us on outings. Padma, Christine and Jack and Rossi care for us deeply to this day. Sekhar, who happened to sit next to me on his first flight from India to Buffalo, is one of my closest souls today, and invested a five-figure sum into our kid’s start-up project. Where do I begin… tears run through my face every time I visit Buffalo remembering the gifts of grace provided by God and his people.
Reflecting on God’s goodness and care, while may not take away my needs or insulate me from sin, helps develop a grateful heart, a slow burn of joy, peace, security. As part of this reflection, I experimented providing a gift. There is more joy in giving than anything else I can think of. One poignant example: she was sitting on a short retaining wall in a strip mall, clothed in a heavy, baggy winter jacket, her life possessions surrounding her- suitcases, bags, boxes. I parked near and asked if she could come closer so that I can give her the gift, and she responded that due to the pain in her lower leg she is not able to move and asked if I could come closer. I got out and handed her the gift, and I received the gift of a heartful big smile, and she thanked me. I visited her a second time as she has become like a fixture on that wall. I left with a heart that was bursting, and also tears rising regarding the helplessness of the situation, where she sits, in the cold. Consistent reflection on the needs of others, goodness of God and his people, and consistent giving using my hands and feet would be good practices for me.
